"There seemed to be an inevitability to this, to his life: that every year he would become worse - more disgusting, more depraved. Every year, his right to humanness diminished, every year, he became less and less of a person." - Oh Judy I hate that you felt this way, my heart still aches for you. You were so MUCH MORE than what was done to you. You were such a bright light in so many people's lives, I only wish you could've seen what you meant to them all. If only you could've seen yourself the way they all saw you.
My heart is utterly shattered, my soul is gutted and my mind is blown. I have never read a book like this and don't think I will ever encounter such a beautifully tragic book again.
This book is hard to get through, not because it isn't extremely well written (because it most definitely is) but because it deals with such hard topics from beginning to end. I will never forget Jude, Willem, Malcom or JB. Their unconditional love for one another (even during their fallouts) was magical. These four men will live rent free in my mind and will forever have a corner of my heart along with a piece of my soul. Harold, Julia, Richard, Lucien and Andy will all reside in my heart for the rest of time as well. All of these characters were heroes. They never gave up on Jude and they never for one second let him forget that he was loved, that he was cherished. Even in those moments where he couldn't believe it, they were there. They never wavered, if only all of us could be lucky enough to have a Willem, Malcom and JB in our lives, a Harold, Julia, Richard, Lucien and Andy in our lives.
I don't think I've ever cried so much while reading a book and going into this book blind probably wasn't the brightest idea but I am glad that I didn't look up any of the trigger warnings (although in hindsight I probably should've) because it allowed me to dive head first into Jude's world. I felt everything so strongly and will never forget this story. It has etched itself onto me and will always be part of me. I can't imagine I'll ever be able to let go of any of these characters. As I sit here with tears still streaking my cheeks I can't help but hope that somewhere out there Jude and Willem and Malcom and JB are somehow reunited. That the four of them can continue to be a unit forming new memories and loving each other unconditionally for who they are. At least in my head that's how I will always remember them, laughing and loving.
Brother Luke, Dr. Traylor and Caleb were despicable. So were all the other men who had a hand in harming Jude. I hated them with every fiber of my being. They were cowards and don't deserve to be called men. They are trash. Nothing more. I wanted to throw the book across the room every time pieces of his past were revealed instead I screamed at these horrible men again and again until I got it out of my system enough to be able to continue on. Jude deserved so much better than what these cowards did to him. My only source of peace is that his friends loved him far beyond what he ever knew, what he ever thought possible even when he was at his lowest and that even though he never accepted that they were there to stay forever they stood by him until the very end. My heart grew three sizes throughout his journey. It also broke into a billion pieces throughout his journey.
"Willem, I think I turned out pretty normal, all things considered, don't you?"
"No, I think you turned out extraordinary, all things considered or not."
^ I agree completely with you Willem. Jude St. Francis you were an extraordinary man who accomplished great things. You were an amazing lawyer and man. You were a wonderful friend and son. You loved so deeply.
If I could give this book an infinite amount of stars I would.
Lastly, I'd like to add a thank you to the author. Hanya Yanagihara, thank you for writing Jude's story. Thank you for doing it with grace and respect. Thank you for writing a story that has impacted me so greatly. And finally, thank you for sharing your talent with the world. You are an incredibly talented writer and I am glad I came across your work.
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From the Publisher
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|---|---|---|
| To Paradise | A Little Life | |
| Customer Reviews |
5,035
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72,241
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| Price | $30.02 | $14.64 |
| Titles by Hanya Yanagihara | To Paradise | A Little Life |
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Reviews with images
Jude… I’ll always think about you. Forever and always.
This is one of the best books I have ever read and will always be a special place in my heart. I finished this 800 page book in 2 weeks and took a week break before starting “the happy years” chapter. I will always think about Jude, Willem, Malcolm and JB. The author outlines these characters personalities so well. I have never felt so deeply about these characters in a story before this one. Without any spoilers I will forewarn you. This book is incredible but it is immensely emotionally tolling. There are scenes that are incredibly graphic but they’re needed to bring the characters whole story as one. This book is so incredibly written. I have thought about it every day for the last 2 weeks and I think I’ll always remember snips of it. You will fall in love with these 4 boys and their side characters. I got recommended this book on TikTok and saw people crying over it. I said, “what all the hype about and why is everyone crying over it?” I bought it and the first 300 pages were slower…. I thought to myself, “Am I crazy or why haven’t I cried yet?” Pages 400-600 were rough but I still maintained my composure. I stopped right before, “the happy years” because I needed a mental break to regain the strength to finish. Pages 600-800 I sobbed all the way through. I would recommend this book to my fellow mentally ill girlies but I understand it’s also not going to be everyone cup of tea. Just know you will love and be broken within this book. I love you Jude, you mean so much to me. Willem is everything you’d ever want in a man and more.
Top reviews from other countries
John Nalleweg
Beautifully written but a painful read
Reviewed in Canada on March 22, 2024Nidia
Hermoso
Reviewed in Mexico on February 14, 2024
Nidia
Reviewed in Mexico on February 14, 2024
Images in this review
Thiago Sardenberg
Uma vida gigante
Reviewed in Brazil on September 30, 2022
Thiago Sardenberg
Reviewed in Brazil on September 30, 2022
É sabido que esse livro lida minuciosamente com as repercussões duradouras de um número catastrófico de abusos físicos e psicológicos sofridos pelo personagem principal durante anos, por diferentes pessoas (quase que implorando ao leitor que suspenda a descrença na plausibilidade desses eventos tão seguidos). Vejo que muitos comentários se atêm, e não sem razão, a esse aspecto, que cria raízes invisíveis pelo texto e está presente mesmo quando não é discutido.
Entretanto, entendo que o trunfo de Uma Vida Pequena reside em outro lugar, para além das angústias e traumas da vida. É por meio das relações tão particulares (complexas e incrivelmente sinceras) estabelecidas entre um grupo de amigos tentando construir suas vidas e relacionamentos afetivos por seus próprios termos, independente das muitas expectativas sociais às quais todos nós somos constantemente submetidos (Por que estás solteiro? Por que não se casam? Por que não têm filhos? Por que essa carreira, e não essa outra? etc) que o livro encontra sua âncora, sua humanidade, em meio às muitas tormentas que cria.
Sem dúvidas, eles habitarão por muito tempo minha mente - assim como levarei comigo muitas das reflexões que o livro provoca.
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MiaMinardi
Good book for an adult who is interested in the socialogical (stigmatized) mental health topics
Reviewed in Sweden on April 22, 2024