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The Breakup Monologues: The Unexpected Joy of Heartbreak Hardcover – July 27, 2021

by Rosie Wilby (Author)

4.5 119 ratings

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Mixing humour, heartache and science, award-winning comedian, author and accidental relationship guru Rosie Wilby embarks on a quest to investigate, understand and conquer the psychology of heartbreak. Tragedy plus time equals comedy, right?

In 2011, comedian Rosie Wilby was dumped by email. .. though she did feel a little better about it after correcting her ex's spelling and punctuation. Obsessing about breakups ever since, she embarked on a quest to investigate, understand and conquer the psychology of heartbreak.

That quest proved to be a creatively fertile one, resulting in Rosie's acclaimed podcast The Breakup Monologues. She decided to ask her colleagues on the circuit about their experiences of romantic disaster and recovery, thinking, 'if one group of people have become adept at learning from catastrophe it is comedians. The worst onstage deaths are the performances that enlighten us most about how to improve.' She wondered if comics had been able to transfer this 'fail better' logic to love.

This book is a love letter to her breakups, a celebration of what they have taught her peppered with anecdotes from illustrious friends and interviews with relationship therapists, scientists and sociologists about separating in the modern age of ghosting, breadcrumbing and conscious uncoupling. Her plan is to assimilate their advice and ideas in order to not break up with Girlfriend, her partner of nearly three years. Will this self-confessed serial monogamist, and breakup addict, finally settle down?

From the Publisher

Editorial Reviews

Review

“We all know about the joys of love and relationships, but there's so much more to discover about the glorious benefits of breakups. Rosie reassures and entertains you through brilliant stories and fabulous facts, about what can be gained from the end of a relationship. This is a hilarious, honest and brilliant book!” ―Helen Thorn, Scummy Mummies podcaster

“piercingly honest… witty… wonderful” ―The Observer

“For anyone who has ever been disenchanted by idealised romantic fairytales, this book will make you feel less alone. Rosie Wilby unearths the hope and hilarity that can come from heartbreak.” ―Abigail Tarttelin

“My favourite way to learn is when a funny, clever, honest person is teaching me - that's why I love Rosie Wilby!” ―Sara Pascoe

“Funny, sweet, entertaining, insightful, life-affirming... this book is all the things a breakup is not. Rosie's wisdom is balm for the soul for anyone who has ever been in love.” ―Viv Groskop

“[a] gem of a book” ―Red Magazine

“Comedian Rosie Wilby deftly blends her own experiences with insights from therapists, sociologists and scientists to explore why heartbreak can be so devastating.” ―Therapy Today

“If you've ever been heartbroken, this will help you heal. Plus it's FUNNY” ―Nichi Hodgson

“... wise, funny and clever” ―Lucy-Anne Holmes

“I unexpectedly found this really brilliant. It's about how heartbreak can be a real turning point and the creativity that comes with the depths of depression. It's a really new take on it.” ―Lorraine Candy

“The smartest and most thought-provoking book about breakups in recent memory… expertly blends comedy, personal memoir and science to create the most essential book of the season” ―The Maritime Edit

“The Breakup Monologues is a book to go back to, again and again. It's smart, funny, and wise. Buy it for all your friends, single, coupled, or otherwise.” ―Liza Delfouli, Arts Hub

“Fascinating, insightful and empathetic, it's a more compelling read than many novels and considerably funnier.” ―Literarysofa.com

“A brilliantly wise combination of humour and science.
” ―Psychologies

“The Breakup Monologues is utterly readable and engaging. It cleverly delves into a universal rite of passage, analysing it from a scientific and psychological angle while also being moving and invoking laughter.” ―The Wee Review

“An absolute joy to read, The Breakup Monologues will no doubt make anyone who reads it think more deeply and empathetically about their former and current relationships. And laugh. A lot.” ―Morning Star

“Rosie is the most amiable, trustworthy, and soul-searching of narrators. Anyone in need of supportive hand-holding in the love department should read this. Still, it's far more than a self-help book. The Break-up Monologues is a bittersweet laugh from start to finish – my new literary best friend.” ―Perspective

“Her wit and compassion make this a joyful read” ―Matthew D'Ancona

“Unflinchingly honest…reassuring, relatable and surprisingly hopeful.” ―Psychologies

About the Author

Rosie Wilby is an award-winning comedian who has appeared many times on BBC Radio 4 programmes including Woman's Hour, Loose Ends, Midweek, The Human Zoo and Four Thought. Her first book Is Monogamy Dead? followed her TEDx talk of the same name and a trilogy of internationally-acclaimed solo shows investigating the psychology of love and relationships.

Rosie also presents The Breakup Monologues podcast, which was nominated for a British Podcast Award and has been recommended by Chortle, BBC Radio 4, The Observer, Metro and Time Out. She writes for publications including the Guardian, Cosmo, The Sunday Times and New Statesman and regularly appears as a commentator on sexuality, dating and love on radio and TV programmes including Good Morning Britain.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Green Tree (July 27, 2021)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 208 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1472982304
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1472982308
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.31 x 0.85 x 9.57 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #3,434,377 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #588 in Mate Seeking (Books)
- #5,115 in Self-Help & Psychology Humor
- #6,156 in Love, Sex & Marriage Humor

Customer Reviews:
4.5 119 ratings

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Rosie Wilby

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Rosie Wilby is an award-winning comedian, author and podcaster who has appeared on BBC Radio 4 programmes including Woman’s Hour, Saturday Live, Four Thought, Unsafe Space and Loose Ends, TV shows including Good Morning Britain and Sunday Morning Live and podcasts including The Guilty Feminist. Her latest book The Breakup Monologues is inspired by her acclaimed podcast (a double British Podcast Award nominee) and is published globally by Bloomsbury. Her first book Is Monogamy Dead? was longlisted for the Polari First Book Prize and followed her TEDx talk of the same name. She regularly contributes to publications including The Independent, Stylist and Perspective and has hosted programmes for Virgin Radio, BBC and Resonance. She’s currently working on a debut novel and a third nonfiction book. Follow her on X / Twitter @rosiewilby and Instagram / Threads @breakupmonologues

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119 global ratings

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Molly Underwood

A perfect blend of social science and personal experience - a joy to read!

Reviewed in the United States on January 22, 2022

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I loved Rosie's first book, Is Monogamy Dead? It transformed the way I look at relationships and her excellent list of suggested further reading pushed me into previously unexplored territory. So I was thrilled when I learned she wrote a second book! With her trademark blend of social science and humor, Rosie tackles the "ending" of a relationship and the surprising things she has discovered and learned from her own breakups over the years and her earnest hope that this will be enough to help her NOT break up with her current partner. It's informative, entertaining, and interesting. I appreciate how she shares a wide range of research (I always learn something new from her!) while maintaining a personal, relatable approach. And it comes with its own list of further reading that I am looking forward to diving into!

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Gaggle of Books

Outstandingly Written!

Reviewed in the United States on July 10, 2022

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I really liked this book. It gave me some closure on
some of my break ups and divorce that made me
appreciate life just a bit more than before I read this
book. I learned that no matter how heartbreaking
breakups can be, you can certainly take more
positivity than negative to grow as a person both in
your single life and in other relationships whether
they are romantic or platonic. Definitely worth your
time to read. Way to go Rosie!

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puzzelld

Heartfelt Reflections on Committment and Loss, Couched in a Light and Humorous Tone

Reviewed in the United States on November 12, 2022

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I love when a book sneaks in heavy topics with humor. Breakup Monologues does that, leaving you thinking about how we see ourselves, what we deserve in terms of relationships, and how we can allow ourselves to love and be loved.

Reviewed in the United States on April 11, 2022

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I tapped out after 20 pages. I couldn't get into the book. Pure boredom.

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Sara Marks Brown

A heartwarming look at heartbreak and the gifts it brings!

Reviewed in the United States on July 5, 2021

A hilarious but also honest, insightful and touching look at the world of relationships and what we can learn from breakups! A delightful combination of Rosie’s own experiences interwoven with stories from others about their dating mishaps. This is a fun summer read for anyone who has ever been in a relationship and not just for lesbians!

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Top reviews from other countries

DK

Full of heart and humour

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 25, 2024

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This is a beautifully written book that weaves different stories of heartbreak in a way that makes for a delightfully fun, thought-provoking and touching read. SO GOOD.

Sev

Humanly enriching

Reviewed in France on April 18, 2022

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Fluently written, funny and moving, this book does generously give a new look on understanding and dealing with heartbreaks. And, even if the reader already has their own knowledge and experience about them, surely they will learn something helpful.
Not to mention that this book was an unexpected and relevant present at the time I read it : Back in May last year I had bought Rosie Wilby's 'the breakup monologues' after a heartbreak. Then I met my new girlfriend and I thought that it actually wasn't the right moment to read it as my new girlfriend and I were living this moment you know when you feel butterflies and the relationship feels so effortless. Well, last Friday as I had faith in our couple she rang me and dumped me... Another heartbreak in less than a year was starting to seriously upset me. I read the book over the weekend and instead of crying myself to sleep and of feeling sorry for myself, my mind already started to think about the things I would myself do next to "resume" a bit of happiness (travelling, meeting and dancing with friends, etc.)

Sandra A. Moog

Smart, fun read

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 12, 2023

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This is a great book, and I wish I had had it as a companion during my last, horribly traumatic break up. I read it, however, as a woman in a happy, stable relationship, and loved it. It’s got science, humour and the kind of intimately friendly narrative that makes you wish the author was available for a chat down at the pub tonight. As a late in life lesbian, I loved the explorations of sexuality and gay relationships… but really this book is a great read for anyone who has ever had a relationship or a breakup. I’ve been gifting it to friends going through breakups themselves — both gay and straight — and so far they have all loved it. (I often gift it together with my very favourite book on the science of love & loss — A General Theory of Love — which, however, being a heavier read for the non-academic reader, often goes unread, while Rosie Wilby’s shorter, chattier book gets gobbled right up.)

Amazon Customer

Eloquence, intelligence, insight, humour and authenticity - Buy This Brilliant Book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 22, 2023

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I’ve known of and admired Rosie Wilby for a number of years, as a writer and comedian who communicates with such eloquence, intelligence, insight, humour and authenticity.

Rosie writes from a personal perspective, yet somehow communicates so broadly, beyond any perceived barriers, to the widest possible readership.

What you realise, when you find yourself immersed in The Break Up Monologues, is that the human experience of love, longing, lust, loss and personal growth, is so utterly universal.

Regardless of any perceived differences between us, we are all seeking something meaningful, or at least seeking to make sense of the often times confusing world of dating, mating, breaking up and getting back up again.

Rosie, because of her natural relatability, is someone you are drawn to and want to know better.

I urge you to buy this book and sit down with Rosie Wilby, safe in the knowledge that you are doing ok, no matter where you are at on the journey to finding love, or simply just learning to love yourself just a little bit more.

Myra K

Exceptionally well written book - raw, hilarious, heart warming and affirming.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 31, 2023

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Rosie’s approach to exploring the benefits and lessons learnt from “breakups” was authentic in nature and written with a sincere voice. Extensive and intellectually stimulating research was evident. Yet what came through most was the way in which she demonstrates relatability as a result of examining and sharing her own journey. Each relationship is examined and every heartbreak associated with navigating the world of “finding our other” was felt. The importance of opening our hearts and minds during the healing process each time is what sets us up to move towards healthier connections.

I thoroughly enjoyed this read and know those I gifted copies of this book too have also been enjoying it along the way too. Memoir writing at its best!

Thank you for sharing your nuggets of acquired wisdom and giving us hope, as well as an insight to a different perspective on how we could think about the more emotionally difficult parts of life.

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